This is Survivor!
Okay, so maybe this Survivor doesn't have bikini clad amazons chowing down on goanna flanks, or team members chained to flaming rings of death which can only be thwarted by flinging a human skull into the Volcano God, but what the hell do you want? We ain't CBS.

This was about one day, eight cabins, and a whole lot of marshmallows. Survivor, Loon Lake style, where the worst that can happen to you after elimination is a nasty hangover. Let's meet the tribes...

The Titans
Team members: Ralph, Cathy, Wes, Sydney, Sam, Jamie
Cabin: #5
Strengths: Fast cars, Chubby Cheeks
Memorable Achievement: Tying Wes to the pole before the torch ceremony as a sacrifice to the gods.

Grumpa-Matata
Team members: The Jurgens Clan
Cabin: #4
Strengths: Diversity, Sheer Team Size
Team Goal: To get their balls as far out of women's underwear as they can.

The Four Aces
Team members: Chris, Mike, Dan, Eric & Ben
Cabin: #8
Weaknesses: Counting, Engineering
Team Motto: It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how determined you look while you're playing.

The Nads
Team members: Rich, Toby, Annie & Fraser
Cabin: #9
Secret Weapon: Pusser's Rum
Team Cheer: GO NADS! GO NADS! GO NADS!

The Superstars
Team members: Dave, Inga, Presley, Jan & Len
Cabin: #2
Weakness: Punctuality
Explanation: During the first game, the team started off with two, and slowly added one new member every 15-20 minutes as they arrived late.

The Perfect Tens
Team Members: Frank, Susan, Cathy, Alice, Dennis
Cabin: #10 (of course)
Weaknesses: Narcolepsy, Occasional team member misplacement
Biggest Challenge: Trying to find somebody on their team to do Chubby Bunny.

Trailer Trash
Team Members: The Kings, the Harms and the Hoards
Lodging: Trailers
Strengths: Fierce Spirit of Competition, Math
Achievement: To make themselves so unwelcome in every cabin that they had to find their own place to live (or as they say, "Who needs your stinkin' cabins anyway? And keep it down, eh? I'm watching the hockey game.")

There was one more team, but they were eliminated so fast that nobody caught their name. In their despair and embarrassment, Helina, Audrey, Marcia, Elise, Dan and Julianna turned tail and ran off into the bushes, never to be seen again (at least not for another 15 minutes or so. I'll tell you why on the next page).